Life Going Through


Love gave me another bout with anxiety, with suffering today...  So I drove through snow — a lot of snow — to get to the studio to dance. On the ride over I was alert, excited, scared and wondering if I would make it. I slid around a couple turns (tingling in my hands, breath shallow from fear). 

I get to the dance floor.  I rise, I fall, I stretch, I put the feeling into my limbs, my breath, I cry . . . then the joy of trust.  Not like trust you have in someone, but that deep trust in life, in god, in the journey and I laughed.  Pleasure seeping through me in all directions.

I get back in the old truck.  On my journey “home,” I slide, I go off the road (7inches of snow, I can’t see it) this time I giggle with glee.  It’s beautiful, it’s quiet, I can feel how to move, which way to go, living a life of awe again.

The practice is a huge part of knowing what I love, how I feel, and allowing life to be experienced through me. Life going through me like this is being with and of God.  God for me is a verb: infinite love, purest bliss, a movement, anything or anyone in this physical world that helps me get close to this place . . . a simple . . .  yes please.

The dance delivers every time.